The day the Vole came …

Friday.  Thank heavens Friday was over, very busy week with enrolment at College followed by a day putting back the LRC, clearing up and levels of hysteria increasing by the minute as the start of a new term approaches.

I arrive home to what can only be described as total chaos.  Two cats chasing each other around the house and a husband shouting at them and dragging furniture all around the living room while piling cushions in a mountainous heap in the corner. 

I was very tempted to back away, get back in the car and pretend I lived somewhere else, but I decided to brave it instead.  I asked the question ” Goodness, Darling! what on earth has happened?” or words similar!  Apparently, the lovely Emmy wasn’t content in bringing little creepy crawlies home uninvited, this time she brought home a little furry creature … a little Vole.  Unfortunately she let it go in the lounge and it shot under the sofa.  My husband (bless him) decided to check that both cats were in the house and then start looking for the vole.  The vole had other ideas and was long gone.  Which is where I came in at!  So having recapped the story I pointed out that the vole was probably inside the sofa as the base hessian was unzipped and it more than likely sneaked in.   We couldn’t see a thing so assumed it hadn’t and searched the house.

Later on that evening (having given up the search by now!) I was sorting through some boxes of papers and noticed both cats staring intently at the sofa.  Uh Oh!  Then I heard it.  It was only in the arm of the bloody sofa!  Both cats are leaping all over the sofa following the vole inside.  The sofa can be split in two, mainly because it was the only way we could get it in the house.  Unfortunately there are 5 carriage type bolts that hold it together.  They are about 6 inches long.  They are also not the easiest things to get too and are a pig to undo as they take ages.

So half an hour later we have two halves.  One with a vole and one without.  We decided we would take it out into the back garden, rip the base off and leave it exposed for the vole to escape.  Fine!  Now did I mention I have a bad back, the discs at the base of my spine are compressed.  I’m not supposed to do heavy lifting or prolonged bending down.  Yep, thought so.

At the first door we encountered the first snag.  It wouldn’t go through, so the sofa feet would have to come off.  Unfortunately the bulk of excess material was stapled to the base and prevented the foot from coming off.  By this time it was late evening and I hurt and was just a tad naggy so this obstacle was sorted quickly by my deft use of a stanley knife.  Once this was done we managed to get it through the door into the kitchen and through the next door into the utility room.

Once in the utility room we just had to get it through the door into the covered way and then the door into the garden…. who has this many doors!!!  We quickly discovered that in order to get the damn thing out of utility room we needed to move the washing machine and tumble drier.  Did I mention the scene of total devastation left behind in our wake! After much tipping of the sofa and reversing and swearing we managed to get it outside and the hessian removed.

Fortunately it was forecast to be a dry night.  We both had the thought that one vole might prefer to stay in the sofa and that other creatures might take up residence overnight, but we decided we were being negative and as soon as that little vole smelled the outside air he/she would be hotfooting it off to the great outdoors.

Saturday.  On Saturday, we checked the sofa first thing and miraculously the slugs had left it alone.  We decided to leave getting it back into the house until after the shopping etc.  So once all the retail bits were done we put the hessian back and got it back into the house.  AMAZING! only took us  a few minutes to get it back in.  Brushed it down, looks good as new! Sod bolting the damn thing back together, we took all the feet off both halves, put them on the floor and now have two large snuggly armchairs.

Both cats have climbed all over it and declared it vole (and hopefully other creatures) free.

I’ve never liked the sofa and regretted buying it once we had it in the house.  More than time for a new sofa methinks, or rather two very large snuggle seats! and as for pussy cats, well they have both been warned ….


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